I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
