Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
