Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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