so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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