you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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