I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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