When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
That accounts for only three of the penises
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
