when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
