This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
This is classic penis vs brain.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Randomize
