you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
there was a trapeze. enough said
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
