I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
