..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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