You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
