His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
wow bdsm is so cute
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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