Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We have so much sex to catch up on
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
