holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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