just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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