when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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