As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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