He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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