I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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