i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We had sex on a dog bed..
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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