I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
