Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
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