Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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