Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
