Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
