I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
