Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
