In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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