glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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