She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
