Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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