I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
