i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
