spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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