my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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