how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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