I wish my penis had an off switch
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I want to have your abortion
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
