Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
