my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He felt like a one man threesome
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
