well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
