Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
