just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
