I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
