So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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