She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
