I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
