in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
