Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
