I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
