At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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