I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
