Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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