just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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